Melissa Lopez from the Bronx, NY, is a mother to two beautiful boys and this is what she had to say about the following mother’s day topics:
On what being a mother has taught her:
“Where to begin…for starters motherhood has taught me an abundance of things. It is an interminable journey and one that has its daily life lessons. Although most moms would suggest that motherhood has taught them endless love, patience, and of course nurturing skills, as it does, what is often left out is how one begins to establish resilience. For I, I have a better understanding and acceptance of my body and its purpose.”
I know that there is no pain that I cannot bear.
“The hardest thing any parent has to do is birth their child. Birth them into a world where hate, inequality, and much other harms exist. Birth them from a womb that has shielded and nourished them for so long. But within this release, I have never felt more vitally alive and thoroughly woman. Motherhood has embedded me the desire to persevere, it is because of motherhood I have the good fight, failure is not an option, and greatness is more than a dream.”
On what she loves about being a mother:
“What I love most about being a mother is somewhat difficult to put into words. It is a feeling that cannot really be explained. It is as if you have re-evaluated your life and what you thought was once impossible, is now the easily attainable. When we are young, we do not envision being parents. We wish to be astronauts, teachers, and singers. But having kids makes you realize like wow, “I was born to be his mom”. I was born to raise these little humans and the journey in doing so is filled with so many emotions and moments wrapped up in one big bubble, better yet one little human. I do not live for myself, I live for them. As a person, I have become kinder, easily approachable, empathetic, and greatly educated. In being their mom, they taught me how to be a better me.”
Most challenging moment throughout motherhood:
“It is NOT always rainbows and butterflies. It is poop, pee everywhere, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and the list continues. One of the most challenging things I had to overcome was postpartum depression and the stigma associated with it. Elation, bliss, euphoria, all words associated with a birth of a child. I mean how can one not feel such gratification and kick ass for single handily nurturing and birthing new life. But with this baby high, also came isolation, a lot of it leading to depression. And with this came a series of concerns and questioning of my love for my child.”
What most people fail to realize is that postpartum depression goes beyond the child itself. It is the relinquishing of your sanity and managing your life on someone else’s schedule.
“Postpartum depression does not discriminate. It struck me, and it struck me hard. The constant feeling of fear and failure replayed in my head like a bad song over and over. The fear of not being able to devote time evenly among your children, failing to devote time to your partner, failing to devote the time and dedication to achieve your greatest potential educationally, personally, and in a career sense. But with time, and self-love, the baby blues slowly wore off.”
Advice to new moms
“This journey you will endure, yet exhausting, is exhilarating. Insecurities and uncertainty will come, and they will come by the dozen, but these too shall pass. Remember these are all phases. I know what it is like to have the trepidation of failing, the self-doubt, and the inability to stabilize your emotions. I reassure you, you are not alone. There will be times where you have no control over your mental processes. There will be times when dinner cannot be cooked and laundry just does not get done. You are only human and you are entitled to voice your momentary “I am losing my shit” without judgment. But, there will also be times in which you and you alone are able to make miracles, soothe that aching boo-boo, make that organic baby food, and even have matching under garments.”
Momma I tell you this, do not dare doubt your instincts. Accept your flaws, and love yourself. Because every year, you will be given the best mom award made with dried macaroni noodles and love.
Jazz Marie 