Chantel Williams,31, is a New York City native and two time graduate of Virginia State University. She currently resides and teaches in the DMV with her lovely three year old Zaire. They enjoy traveling and attending outdoor events, reading, working out and learning new languages. Here is what she had to say about the following topics:
On what she loves most about being a mother:
“I absolutely love watching his personality blossom. He’s amazingly bright, loving and perceptive. Right now he’s convinced that he is a lion and that I’m an elephant. If I call him a boy, he’s quick to correct me. I live for the moments when he walks over to hold my face and say “I love you Mama elephant”. Of course five minutes later he’s destroying my living room with his latest block tower architectural project but I love every moment of it. He has his difficult moments like any toddler but Zaire will sit and really reflect on what he did wrong. He apologizes without prompting from anyone. I look at all of his characteristics and quirks and think about the type of man he is going to be. It’s exciting and gives me this passion to make sure I help nurture all of these phenomenal things about him.”
What has being a mother taught you about yourself?
“Gosh…I’ve learned so many things over this 3 year journey. I think one of the most important things I’ve learned about myself is that I have a greater capacity for love than I could have imagined. I honestly never knew I could love another person this much and this purely. I’ve also learned to trust myself. I recall having so much anxiety after I had my son because people around me were making me second guess my decisions. I internalized their criticisms and insecurities which made those first few months extremely difficult. The amount of input was overwhelming from critiques about my decision to breastfeed to preference of daycare facility to choice of discipline. It took a physical and emotional toll but luckily over time I was able to regain confidence in my ability as a mother.”
Most challenging moment throughout motherhood:
“My most challenging moments have probably been finding out about and managing Zaire’s food allergies. We found out that he was allergic to dairy when he was around 7 or 8 months and then earlier this year we discovered he had a life threatening allergy to some nuts. Watching him break out into hives, vomit and his lips swelling was terrifying especially since I didn’t know what caused it. Afterwards, I dealt with feelings of guilt because I gave him something that could have killed him. Granted I didn’t know he was allergic at the time but it was still rough.”
Advice to new moms:
“Don’t be afraid to ask! I give SO much credit to the Facebook groups I joined for breastfeeding, baby wearing, allergies, Black motherhood, crunchy moms etc. These women provided a wealth of information and comfort that I wasn’t able to get from those in my “real life” circles. Know that you are capable even through those stressful moments. Take time for you. You aren’t just a mother, wife, girlfriend, whatever. YOU need time to re-energize and do things that are just for you. Don’t lose your identity. Be flexible and know that you cannot do it all. Some things must wait, and others you delegate. Don’t get caught up trying to be the perfect mom. Some days they will eat fruit snacks and Chic-fil-a nuggets and that’s ok. At the end of the day if they are happy, healthy and alive, you’ve done your job!”
Jazz Marie 