Asia Marie Daniels, 28, from the Bronx, NY, is the mother to an amazing two-year-old, Adonnis. Motherhood is extra special to Daniels because she faced many challenges prior to the birth of her son. She met her significant other, Angel, at 22 and realized that this was the person that she wanted to settle down with. Two years into their relationship, they started to discuss building a family and went to see a doctor, but the news that followed would have them questioning if their family would ever be complete.
When Daniels was 18, she stopped getting a regular menstruation. At the time, she thought it was awesome but four years later, when she went to the doctor with Angel, she found out that she had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. According to Women’s health, Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), also known as polycystic ovarian syndrome, is a common health problem caused by an imbalance of reproductive hormones. The hormonal imbalance creates problems in the ovaries. The ovaries make the egg that is released each month as part of a healthy menstrual cycle. With PCOS, the egg may not develop as it should or it may not be released during ovulation as it should be. PCOS can cause missed or irregular menstrual periods. Irregular periods can lead to: Infertility (inability to get pregnant) and development of cysts (small fluid-filled sacs) in the ovaries.
“In my case my body produced more testosterone than estrogen and turned my eggs into cyst, explains Daniels. “I was told I’d never be able to have a baby because of this. As a human being, when someone challenges you with something you really want, you challenge them back…at least I did.I tried every ovulating pill, shake, exercise and diet there was. After about a year, we got a positive test but just a couple days later we also had a loss. Naturally, I gave up and focused on school and my career.”
Another year passed and when January came around, Daniels got super sick with the flu and had to be hospitalized. Her doctor at the time –who knew her journey– came running into her room screaming [the test] was positive.
“ I cried five times,” she says. “My first thought was fear because we have been here before, my second thought was: “God, please. I trust you.” My doctor immediately set up appointments to have me and the baby watched closely and warned me that most PCOS patients don’t make it to three months.”
There was a 80% chance of a miscarriage but if she could make it past three months, the odds were the same as a healthier woman. On March 4, 2015, she was officially three months.
I sat down and cried my eyes out thanking God for getting me here and trusting me through this journey.
Although her pregnancy had many challenges including being diagnosed with Diabetes and in labor for about five days, she wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I would repeat every step 1000 times just to meet him again.
The journey to motherhood and being a mom of one has taught Daniel’s many things about herself.
“Being a mom has taught me that I am resilient, I am strong and most of all it taught me to accept weakness,” says the Bronx native. “In the beginning, I would always blame myself for the things I couldn’t do perfectly. I always held my self to a high standard and when I saw other moms doing something effortlessly, like breastfeeding, I would always put myself down and question my strengths as a mom. Since then I’ve learned to accept that there is no such thing as a “perfect mom” we all just have special ways of dealing with mommy obstacles. I still have days where I wonder if I am doing a great job but I don’t beat myself up. I do all that I can for my son and watch him grow.”
Advice to new moms:
“Soak in every moment of pregnancy and beyond,” Daniels says. “The journey is beautiful, I wish I took more pictures of my belly. I didn’t because I developed stretch marks and let that stand in the way. Everyone warned me that years go by like seconds and now I stare at my almost three year old identify colors and shapes and I sometimes cry tears of joy and sadness because time does fly by without notice.”
Don’t ever let anyone tell you right from wrong and no matter what, you are doing the hardest job in the world, take your time, cry, smile and most of all pat yourself on the back mom! You made a baby!!
She also address the “mommy guilt” that many mothers face:
“Take time for yourself, I still struggle with mom guilt if I leave my son longer at daycare or go out to do my nails, But I promise you mom, your baby won’t forget about you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help to sleep a little longer, to have a long calming bath or even to get some air and a coffee, you deserve it and your baby will be just the same when you get back.”
I’m still growing and learning who I want to be in this world but one thing motherhood has done for me is it made me want to change the world, so that my son never has to experience the bad in it. He’s made me more ambitious to be someone who he can be proud of and want to model.
Jazz Marie 